just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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