My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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