Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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