Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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