you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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