Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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