my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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