I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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