No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We're too hungover to prance.
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