I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
how drunk are you?
Several
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize