Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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