I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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