I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize