why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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