Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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