i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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