Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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  (201): I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork. http://tfl.nu/8epk
  Replies (16) Good night (1049) Bad night (5096)
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  (858): View more from California

  There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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  (858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m
  Replies (24) Good night (7393) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding

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  (913): Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding http://tfl.nu/jewl
  Replies (8) Good night (3583) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name

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  (303): so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name http://tfl.nu/x1lq
  Replies (20) Good night (2326) Bad night (4317) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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  (828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp
  Replies (29) Good night (7021) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.

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  (513): Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well. http://tfl.nu/s9im
  Replies (5) Good night (2726) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.

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  (306): I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me. http://tfl.nu/ri8m
  Replies (16) Good night (778) Bad night (2585) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.

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  (765): He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube. http://tfl.nu/tf6d
  Replies (2) Good night (1949) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.

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  (239): I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore. http://tfl.nu/vgm4
  Replies (7) Good night (1685) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.

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  (563): Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed. http://tfl.nu/cilo
  Replies (62) Good night (3211) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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  (702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1674) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."

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  (270): how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards." http://tfl.nu/tgkg
  Replies (6) Good night (1663) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

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  (770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss
  Replies (3) Good night (639) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.

  (315): View more from New York

  How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??

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  (561): She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation. (315): How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives?? http://tfl.nu/1ctg
  Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (581)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

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  (707): I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things. http://tfl.nu/vhue
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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