Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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