I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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