I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize