beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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