Tell her she can't have a vagina
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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