so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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