Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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