dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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