He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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