The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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