i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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