Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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