I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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