Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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