we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is wine microwaveable?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize