why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize