I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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