Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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