Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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