my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize