i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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