The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
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I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize