sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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