I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize