My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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