So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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