That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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