none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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