We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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