Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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