Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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