tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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