Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize